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What does it mean to be "trauma informed?"

Understanding the reasons you may stay with or return to your abuser is critical in being able to offer support. Those who work with survivors of intimate partner violence focus on empathy, educating themselves on the dynamics of abuse, and becoming familiar with resources within the community. 
A trauma-informed practice:

  • Recognizes that trauma has both short and long-term effects, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), hypervigilance, anxiety, depression, emotional dysregulation, and memory loss. They acknowledge that no survivor will show trauma in the same form, and they incorporate this adaptable mindset into all interactions with you.

  • Prioritizes physical, psychological, and emotional safety for the survivor.

  • Creates opportunities for survivors to rebuild their sense of control and empowerment, all of which suffer in the midst of an abusive relationship.

  • Is judgment free and focuses on supporting the survivor rather than telling you what you “should” or “needs” to do.

  • Whether this is the first, or fifth time you are leaving your abusive partner, the support offered must be constant.


Research shows it takes on average seven times for a survivor to leave for good.​​

Lawyer Services

In cases of domestic violence, a lawyer provides significant benefits such as helping you navigate the legal system, advocating for your safety and protecting your rights, managing child custody arrangements, and increasing your access to relevant support services.
Finding a lawyer with expert knowledge and trauma-informed training will provide you with crucial emotional support and guidance throughout your legal matter. 

When you contact a law firm, start by asking if any lawyers within the firm are trained in trauma-informed responses or if they are aware of other lawyers who are. 

Self Representation

Family courts are open for self-represented litigants, meaning you handle your legal issue without help or representation by a lawyer. These steps would include applying for Protection Orders, serving notice on the other party, facilitating a resolution of disputes outside of court such as negotiation or mediation, researching case law, and representing yourself in court.

Although possible, it's not recommended to represent yourself in a matter of domestic violence. Resolving legal matters is never quick, so you may be communicating directly with the person that's caused you harm (or their legal counsel) for upwards of a year.  Challenges you could face include ignoring of communications, disputing evidence, and an overall abuse of the legal process by a controlling and violent current or former partner. As a victim of domestic violence, this can leave you can feeling further traumatized by your personal experiences. 

To explore self representation options further, the following resources are available for your information:

wavy lines

"Healing comes in waves, and I’m allowed to feel every rise and every fall of my tide.”
-Alex Elle

This website is not intended to provide legal advice and should only be used for informational purposes. If you require legal services, you should consult a lawyer.

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