How can I help someone I know is being abused?

Some victims don’t even realize that they’re being abused, so be prepared for a potentially defensive reaction. Dara Carlin, domestic violence advocate and expert with Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence, says the best way to approach the topic is by starting to talk about it.
Establish trust and a safe space with the person you’re worried about. Unfortunately, it often takes a horrible wake-up call for survivors of domestic violence to realize they are being abused. If and when the victim finds solace in you, listening to their story without judgment and believing them is crucial.
“If you're comfortable about domestic violence, they’ll be comfortable in approaching you and saying something when they’re ready,” says Carlin. 

How can I help someone who is not ready to leave their relationship?

• let them know you support them and are not judging

• lend a listening ear

• be patient

• make a support plan

• offer support while following their lead

• help them create a safety plan

• help find them supports and community services

• focus on their strengths and provide emotional support
   

Should I get involved if I know someone is experiencing abuse?
Seeing someone you care about in an abusive relationship can be very painful, and especially, if they do not leave the relationship. It is very important to stay in contact with someone experiencing abuse. Often the person causing harm will cut the person off from their support network, leaving the person dependent on the person causing harm. The person causing harm may say friends and family do not care about them. A person who feels supported will be able to leave the relationship more easily and safely.

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Why do people stay in an abusive relationship? Why don't they just leave?
There's a number of reasons why someone stays in an abusive relationship, such as:

• the person experiencing abuse may want the abuse to end but not the relationship

• the abuser may threaten to hurt themselves, the partner, or their children if the relationship ends

• the abuser may be using controlling and manipulation tactics to lower their partners self esteem, and make them think that no one else will treat them better

• the cycle of abuse often has a period of reconciliation where the abuser may be very attentive and loving and promises that the violence will stop

• the person experiencing abuse is at their most risk of harm when they try to leave

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Consider donating to shelters and programs, or participating in fundraisers

​The following are a few organizations dedicated to bringing awareness to domestic violence, and supporting victims and their families. If you're interested in donating to a specific shelter, please visit the shelters website or phone them directly. 

• Alberta Council of Women's Shelters (ACWS): A registered charity supporting over 50 shelters across Alberta for women, children and seniors facing domestic abuse. 

• Canada Helps: A Canadian Charity that supports all Canadian Charities. 

• ​Central Alberta Women's Emergency Shelter (CAWES): A non profit in Red Deer offering outreach programs and crisis intervention.

• FearIsNotLove: A Calgary organization offering free programs for any person experiencing domestic violence and abuse. 

• Radiance Society: Based in Calgary, they are dedicated to breaking silence, inspiring resilience and creating a world where every person can live free from fear.

• Riseup Society Alberta: A Leduc based organization providing counselling to men and women struggling with the effects of intimate partner violence.

• Rise Coffee: A social enterprise of Riseup Society offering coffee cart rentals to spread awareness and gain support at events. All proceeds of coffee cart sales go directly to the operational costs of the charity. 

• Sagesse: Based in Calgary, Sagesse empowers individuals, organizations and communities through curating environments for people to develop skills and lead safe and healthy lives. 

• The Today Centre: An Edmonton organization focused on connecting victims and survivors to the help they need and providing education and training to empower community members to recognize, respond, and support people experiencing domestic violence. 

• YOUCAN Youth Services: A non-profit charitable organization based out of Edmonton dedicated to helping young people transition from a path of harm to a path of economic independence.